Life is a Mirror: What’s Being Reflected Back to You?

Life often reflects back to us what we project into the world. This concept can be empowering when we realize that we have the power to shift the energy we put out, and in turn, change what is reflected back to us. For Black women, this understanding holds unique significance as we navigate societal pressures, generational trauma, and the need for healing.

I remember the first time I learned about the concept, "Life is a mirror." My immediate reaction? This has to be some top-flight bullsht.* Like, seriously? There’s no way Black women would knowingly choose to endure the kind of suffering we’ve experienced in life. That idea just didn’t sit right with me.

And honestly, part of that is true—the part about knowingly. We don’t knowingly create these experiences. But here’s the thing: I’ve come to realize that, unconsciously, a lot of the suffering we go through is tied to our conditioning and programming. That realization? Oh, it pissed me off to the highest level of pisstivity. I wasn’t just mad—I was angry and for a long time.

But then, I started reflecting on my life—my jobs, relationships, friendships—and things started to make sense. Life was really reflecting back to me what I believed deep down. Let me give you an example.

Take my last corporate job. I was killing it at first, no lie. The work came naturally to me, but I had this narrative running in my head: I have to work twice as hard just to get half of what my coworkers get. And yeah, my coworkers were mostly non-Black men. I kept telling myself life wasn’t fair for me, and you know what? That’s exactly how it started playing out. If I didn’t value myself, how was anyone else supposed to?

These thoughts, beliefs, and feelings were all unchecked, just running the show behind the scenes. They’d been part of my story for most of my life—until I woke up and realized how much they were messing with my health, my wellbeing, and my peace. That belief I had, that I had to work harder than everyone else? It had me stressed, burned out, and stuck in survival mode.

When I finally checked that belief, I realized something: I was the only one in those work environments busting my ass. When I didn’t get recognized for my hard work, I’d shut down. But the truth is, no one can make you feel a certain way about yourself unless you already believe it deep down. If someone “makes” you feel something negative, it’s a sign to take a long, hard look in the mirror. Nine times out of ten, that feeling is pointing to something within you that needs addressing and healing.

Nothing outside of you can make you feel a certain way inside, and that’s both good and bad. How you experience life is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself internally. Your internal state mirrors itself back to you in your external experiences. Most of us think it’s the other way around—that what happens externally determines how we feel inside. But really, it’s the opposite.

Does any of this resonate with you? If so, here are three tips to start shifting things around:

1. Check your internal narrative: Start paying attention to the stories you tell yourself about what you deserve and what’s possible for you. Do this from your essence, not your ego—your essence knows your worth and infinite potential, while your ego often keeps you stuck in fear and limitation.

2. Give yourself grace: Remember that healing and unlearning take time. Be gentle with yourself in this process.

3. Shift your energy: Focus on practices that help you feel good internally—whether that’s through self-care, affirmations, or surrounding yourself with positive influences.

If this resonates with you, I would love to explore how I can support you on this journey. I invite you to book an introductory call with me to discuss my 1:1 coaching packages and see how we can work together to create the life you deserve.

Click Here to Book Intro Call

Feel free to share this email with anyone who might benefit from it.

Thank You,

Laren